Hashimotos Disease

Good evening everyone,

I recently spoke with a couple people who told me that they were embarassed to come forward to their friends or families about their auto immune disease, and their food allergies. Which to be honest, has inspired me even more on this blog. I talk about this a lot privately to my family and just a few close friends, because I know that it's really something you dont want to overly explain to anyone because you're not quite sure of their response. But I'm a person that is hardwired to be honest in everything I do, and I figure if I'm going to be open enough with my food issues I should address my auto immune disease too. Because in all honesty, some of the food issues I share on this site, go hand in hand with that.

So lets just be real about it...

I was 19 and I remember the set of events like it was yesterday. I had just gotten home from college for Christmas break, and there was something obviously physically and emotionally wrong. I wasnt sleeping at night, I was overly sensitive (which isnt my overall personality), I had put on 30+ pounds, and I just felt this overwheleming fog and depressed feeling. I remember my dad saying, "I dont think theres anything seriously wrong, you may just be depressed." Which I understand in hind sight because what parent wants to really acknowledge that theres something wrong with their kid? It was much more apparent to my mom over what was going on. I knew it was something that needed to be fixed when she looked at me in the car and said "What happened to you? You used to be fun" as I sat there crying over something that was supposed to be funny that my mom and I had continuously joked about over the years. I had no control on my emotions. I made the appointment with a doctor and they set up a very indepth blood panel. I remember getting the phone call from the nurses after I had gone back to college and the woman on the other end saying "Hi Mary, (insert name here) from (this doctors office) I'm calling to talk to you about your labs and have you set up another appointment." It was the longest 2 minute phone call. She said " You have something called Hashimotos disease" and she didnt have any way of explaining it to me. I actually found out that I had an auto immune disease while I was on the phone with my mom while Web MD- ing it. I have to admit, I had a meltdown. Especially in the section that says "This is most commonly seen in women over the age of 65"...just 46 years too early.

Basically, my antibodies (the things that are supposed to fight off viruses) are killing my thyroid. I will take pills to control my basic body organs and hormone funtion for the rest of my life. & see a couple specialists a few times a year. At 23 I have gotten 5 different ultra sounds on my thyroid to check for nodules, cancer, and to check the rapid progression of my antibodies damage. I have also gotten a osteoporosis scan on my whole body which is usually recommended for a women much older than 23, I believe 50? 60? I also have very in depth blood panels done twice a year, to check all of my thyroid levels, iron, calcium, vitamin intake, and the health of my ovaries. Because thyroid diseases are the leading cause of infertility. & I read not too long ago that most women in the world who struggle with getting pregnant, often have an undiagnosed thyroid issue. Now dont hold me to that fact, because even though I read it, I can't remember the source. I think it was the mayo clinic online.

I could honestly go on about this all day long. How my thyroid looks like swiss cheese at this point, how I cant go a day without taking my perscriptions without having an uncontrollable emotional breakdown, how stressful it is to have 3 specialists look at you two months after your wedding and say something a long the lines of "if you want kids, you need to get on it", but the real thing question is, "arent you scared?" The answer is no, I'm not embarassed either, because it is what it is. I come from a long line of women in my mothers side of the family that have similar issues, that vary. It's absolutely stressful, and there are moments where I really cry and get upset about it, but I own it. Because it's something that you're never going to get rid of, and I've accepted that. The best part is when people apologize to you for having it... "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this" their kindness is usually so genuine and I always appreciate it. But I'm not the 19 year old girl anymore. I have found a team of awesome doctors who I would never trade for anything, and thats really the key. Hashimotos disease, it is what it is.

& for those of you who do have it, and have kept it to yourself, because of embarassment or whatever the reason, I'm not saying you should just blare it, and put it out there, but don't be embarassed to share it with someone. To say things like "I cannot eat gluten because of my auto immune disease" or "I cannot eat this, because it gives me heart palpatations" or some kind of issue relating to your auto immune disease. Because, even though the people may never understand what it is, or what it feels like, its good to be honest about it. & you're allowed to not like things after your allergy foods are taken out. You're not picky, you're just doing what you can.

I'm sorry if this seems like a weird rant this evening, I just have been so overwhelemed with the feeling of support over this blog and what I've been trying to achieve, really it is so fantastic. I hope I can continue that support and encourage people to just do what they can, and just be healthy.

--M